Understanding and Calming Your Anxiety: When Your Threat System Won't Switch Off
After three decades working with people in crisis—from families struggling to cope to young people caught in cycles of harmful behaviour—I’ve learned that anxiety isn’t the enemy we often think it is. It’s one of our most primitive survival mechanisms. But when it gets stuck in the “on” position, it can feel like living with a fire alarm that never stops ringing.
What Is Anxiety, Really?
Anxiety is your brain’s early warning system, designed to keep you safe by scanning for potential threats and preparing your body to respond. Think of anxiety as having three main components: your thoughts (“What if something terrible happens?”), your physical sensations (racing heart, sweaty palms, tight chest), and your behaviours (avoiding situations, seeking reassurance, staying hypervigilant). These all work together in a loop that can either help you navigate genuine challenges or trap you in unnecessary suffering.
When Normal Becomes Problematic
Here’s what I’ve observed in my years of practice: normal anxiety is like a smoke detector—it goes off when there’s actual danger, then switches off when the threat passes. Problem anxiety is like a faulty smoke detector that goes off even when there’s no smoke.
Normal anxiety is helpful—it drives and motivates you to be prepared, to do your best. Imagine Usain Bolt on the starting line, adrenalin and cortisol pumping through his body, firing him into action as soon as the starting pistol fires. A level of anxiety is our helpful friend when we’re walking alone at night, preparing for exams, or going for a job interview. The stress response is proportionate to the situation, time-limited, and doesn’t significantly interfere with daily life.
Problematic anxiety is different. It shows up when there’s no real threat, persists long after danger has passed, or is so intense that it stops you from doing things you want or need to do. When anxiety starts making decisions for you—that’s when it’s moved from helpful to harmful.
Your Central Nervous System Under Threat
When your brain perceives danger, real or imagined, it activates your sympathetic nervous system—your body’s “threat response system.” This happens faster than conscious thought, which is why you might feel anxious before you even know why.
Here’s what unfolds within milliseconds: Your amygdala sends an instant message to your hypothalamus, which communicates with your body through the nervous system. Stress hormones like adrenalin and cortisol flood your system. Your heart rate increases, breathing becomes shallow and rapid, muscles tense ready for action, and your digestive system slows down—your body realises that processing lunch is the least of its concerns if you’re running from a lion.
The thing is, your brain cannot tell the difference between a genuine physical threat and a perceived emotional threat. Whether you’re facing an aggressive dog or worrying about your boss’s opinion, your body responds in remarkably similar ways.
Five Ways to Calm Your Threat System
Through my work with people who’ve experienced trauma and chronic stress, I’ve found these approaches consistently help regulate an overactive threat system:
1. Breathe Like You Mean It
Your breath is the one aspect of your nervous system you can directly control. Place one hand on your chest, one on your belly. Breathe so that the hand on your belly rises while your chest stays relatively still. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, out for six. The longer out-breath activates your “rest and digest” response. It’s not magic; it’s biology.
2. Ground Yourself in the Present
Anxiety pulls you into the future (“What if…”) or past (“I should have…”). Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This engages your thinking brain and helps override the emotional alarm system.
3. Move Your Body Mindfully
Your threat system has prepared your body for action—give it the movement it’s expecting. A five-minute walk, gentle stretching, or shaking out your hands can help dissipate stress hormones. The key is intentional movement that says to your nervous system, “I’ve got this.”
4. Challenge the Story Your Mind Is Telling
Anxiety is often fuelled by catastrophic thinking. The question isn’t “Is this thought true?” but “Is this thought helpful?” Ask yourself: What evidence do I have for this worry? What would I tell a friend with this concern? What’s the most likely outcome? This isn’t about positive thinking—it’s about responding from wisdom rather than fear.
5. Create Your Safety Anchors
Your threat system needs to know you’re safe before it will calm down. This might be a calming playlist, specific scent, supportive text, or physical comfort object. When you repeatedly pair these anchors with moments of calm, your nervous system learns to associate them with safety.
Moving from Surviving to Thriving
Anxiety often contains important information about what matters to you. The challenge isn’t to eliminate these concerns but to address them from a place of strength rather than fear. When you understand anxiety as an overprotective friend rather than an internal enemy, you can work with it rather than against it.
Your threat system isn’t broken—it just needs a gentle reminder that you’re safe, capable, and equipped to handle whatever life brings your way.
If anxiety continues to significantly impact your daily life, reaching out for professional support isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.
If you’re looking for support that honours your inherent strength and resilience, I’d be honoured to work with you. Contact me for a free 15-minute consultation to explore how we can help you move from surviving to thriving.